F**k for the boondocks

Echoing the 'Fuck for Forest' stunts that combine public sex and fundraising for the rain forest, an organization of rural youth is trying to find ways to raise the population in Norway's outlying districts.

You know this actually makes sense - more f**king, more population. They are having f**cking events either in gymnasiums or in private romantic snow caves. Snow caves? Brrr... but it is Norway after all.

They have events where young people give their all for their way of life. What a way to score - "we have to do this otherwise our way of life will disappear."

And just what is a "community reproduction effort in a local gymnasium"? Are orgies now the thing for teens to do for school spirit in rural Norway? Of course, here in Texas teens can just watch the cheerleaders at the local football stadiums and go behind the bleachers. Does Norway have cheerleaders at these events? Get it up for Norway?

Another means of scoring for a good cause is G.O.D,, or Global Orgasm Day. Once a month a couple years ago you were supposed to think good thoughts and everyone in the world would try to have a simultaneous orgasm. "Is it possible to unite a disparate world through simultaneous orgasm? Wouldn't it be fun to find out?" Of course, that didn't work out so well, South America got overexcited and that seemed to spread and made the United States come to soon and that seemed to knock everything off balance and some countries came then and some didn't come at all and the Chinese tried for multiple orgasms but just fell off their beds and the world got knocked a bit off kilter and then there was that earthquake which seemed a bit too much of the earth moving and everybody felt so sorry afterwards and there were tears and some said they understood but you knew it was just words and it was just a mess. Probably why you don't remember it - too embarrassing. Unless you didn't get the note and were washing your hair. Damn those too sexy Latin lovers!

What does someone who is happy but mercenary say about orgasms? The best orgasms are quick but come after lots of foreplay and other silly stuff. I half agree with that. But on politics now - "Even in today's "liberated" atmosphere, the most famous orgasm of our time comes to us from the thirties - the days of the Spanish Civil War, when radicals and revolutionaries all over the world went to fight the good fight against fascism. It was then, as depicted in Hemingway's best-selling novel (and film) For Whom the Bell Tolls, that the Spanish heroine, Maria, told the American hero, Robert, how it truly felt: "The earth moved!"

Xaviera's message for the seventies: "Earth Movers of the World, Unite - in Carnal Knowledge!"

My message for you for the oughts - you ought to try ESO. Even if you don't get orgasms that last an hour you learn some great techniques and what better way to waste time?