Short takes

"There was a scare in Washington when a man climbed over the White House wall and arrested. This marks the first time a person has gotten into the White House unlawfully since…President Bush." David Letterman

"Consumer activist Ralph Nader announced he would run for president. When he heard about it, Dennis Kucinich was furious and said, He's going to steal my voter away." Conan O'Brien

"Things were so different then. You know how different it was? Bush was president, the economy was tanking and we'd just finished a war with Iraq." Billy Crystal, recalling his first hosting stint 13 years ago.

Hamster Comedy Monday