Late Night Jokes From NewsMax

Leno

Bennett said it's a private matter and it’s nobody’s business but his own. See, that’s the difference between Democrats and Republicans. Democrats want to investigate your finances and keep their sex lives private, and Republicans want to investigate your sex life and keep their finances private.

Kilborn

North Korea has admitted to building nuclear weapons. President Bush has one question: "Can we attack a country that has weapons of mass destruction?"

Conan

Did you have a happy Cinco de Mayo? When President Bush was asked if he celebrated he said, "No, I’m still not happy with the French."

Letterman

The best movie over the weekend was "X-Men: Two." it made $85 million opening up this weekend. It’s about a group of mutants that want to take over the world. There’s Storm that wants to take over the world, there’s Nightcrawler that wants to take over the world, and there’s also Donald Rumsfeld.

Over the weekend was the Democrats' first presidential debate. Nine guys took part in the debate, what a dreary group. George W. Bush took one look at them and said, "I may win this one fair and square."

Dick Gephart is going after that Democrat base. He promises to bring sex back to the Oval Office.

Yesterday in Washington the announcement was made that Dick Cheney will run once again for vice president. He says that he is healthy and has a doctor with him 24 hours a day. Well, that’s a sign of a healthy man.

They only put up the ones they like and I have noticed occasional editing. Wait a minute, so do I.