Seven Congressmen Are Zombies!

Weekly World News - At least seven U.S. congressmen are boot-licking zombies controlled by Haiti's supersecret AIH intelligence agency, but here's the clincher:

Nobody can figure out who they are because the living dead -- with their shuffling gait, wrinkled skin and glassy stares -- are indistinguishable from all the senior-citizen politicians on Capitol Hill.

So says the FBI in a frightening internal report that suggests the House of Representatives "could become a nest of zombies within the next 10 years . . . and the American public would be none the wiser."

"By definition, zombies have limited mental faculties, no emotion, no free will, and they are only able to function at the behest of voodoo priests who control their every move.