Kinky for governor? Why not?

Kinky Friedman recycles his campaign pitch

Why am I running for governor of Texas in 2006? Why the hell not? I already have several good campaign slogans, starting with "How hard could it be?"

Compared with the daunting financial crunch that Arnold Schwarzenegger inherited when he became governor of California, being governor of Texas is a notoriously easy gig. It's rather like being the judge of a giant chili cook-off.

Consider that in the past a series of wealthy Texas oilmen have ascended to the office, some of them rarely bothering to leave their ranches to go to Austin unless there was a football game. And it's clear that not much was expected of our first female governor, Ma Ferguson, who, regarding bilingual studies, once said: "If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for Texas."

I'm not anti-death penalty but I am anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed. Max Soffar has been on death row for 23 years, brought to trial solely on the basis of a long-ago recanted confession and represented by the infamous Joe Cannon, a state-appointed attorney known to have slept through some clients' capital murder cases.

Here's another reason I'm running: Texas has a tradition of singing governors. Pappy O'Daniel's successful race took place in the 1940s. He had a band called the Light Crust Doughboys. I, of course, had a band called the Texas Jewboys. His slogan was "Pass the biscuits, Pappy." One of my own most popular, often-requested songs is Get Your Biscuits in the Oven (And Your Buns in the Bed). The parallels are almost uncanny.