Howard Dean Late Night Jokes

"Did you folks see President Bush's State of the Union Address? How about that surprise announcement? Howard Dean has been captured and he's in the hands of interrogators." —David Letterman

"Did you see Dean's speech last night? Oh my God! Now I hear the cows in Iowa are afraid of getting mad Dean disease. I'm no pundit but it's always a bad sign when at the end of your speech, your aide is shooting you with a tranquilizer gun." —Jay Leno

"Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard — cut back on the Red Bull." —David Letterman

"Howard Dean has been the front-runner and last night he finishes a distant third. Here's what happened: the people of Iowa realized they didn't want a president with the personality of a hockey dad." —David Letterman

"Howard Dean came in a disappointing third place. Afterwards Dean said 'Iowa is behind me and now I look forward to screaming at voters in New Hampshire.'" —Conan O'Brien
"John Kerry, Joe Lieberman and Dick Gephardt all agree that the capture of Saddam Hussein was a great thing. But now, they say we have to keep our eyes focused on the real enemy, Howard Dean." —Jay Leno

"Saddam Hussein interrogators said Saddam appears delusional, grandiose and thinks he still can be elected president. I'm sorry that's not Saddam, that's Howard Dean." —Craig Kilborn

"Howard Dean was endorsed by former Vice President Al Gore and now he is getting advice from Al Gore. And I'm thinking, who better to give advice than the guy who couldn't even get elected with the most votes?" —David Letterman

"It was reported today that former Governor Howard Dean raised $14 million dollars in campaign funds mostly over the Internet. Of course, Dean's success could be contributed to his Web site: www.wetboobies." —Conan O'Brien

"Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean's presidential campaign is handing out tongue depressors to volunteers with his name on them. Wasn't that Clinton's trick?" —Jay Leno

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman