RIVALS ACCUSE DEAN OF LEADING IN POLLS

In their most bruising attacks to date, contenders for the Democratic presidential nomination used a candidates’ forum in Iowa last night to accuse former Vermont Governor Howard Dean of “leading in the polls.”

“Howard, you are running away with this race and you know it!” bellowed Sen. Joseph Lieberman (D-Conn.), jabbing his finger in Mr. Dean’s face. “Why won’t you have the guts to admit it?”

Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass) picked up on Mr. Lieberman’s theme, accusing Mr. Dean of “parlaying his so-called ‘message of hope’ into burgeoning popularity and bulging campaign coffers.”

“Howard, every time you give a speech, you raise more money,” Senator Kerry said. “It is high time that you come clean about that.”

In a particularly contentious moment, Rep. Richard Gephardt (D-MO) challenged all of the candidates on stage “to raise their hand if they are leading in the polls.”

Mr. Dean was the only one on stage to do so, prompting a Gephardt aide to comment later, “That moment was a homerun for Dick!”

Meanwhile, in Iraq, former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein admitted for the first time that he placed bets with his Las Vegas bookie on the Iran-Iraq war while he was President of Iraq in the 1980’s.

Borowitz Report