Jayme Has The Solution For Texas School Funding

As long as the GOP wants to pay for schools with sin taxes go all the way - legalize prostitution.

People outside of Texas sometimes ask why our state legislature only convenes once every two years. The answer, of course, is that they do less damage that way. Unless, of course, the governor decides to call a dreaded Special Session, in which case the lege can do all the damage it wants, whenever it wants.

...Legalize Prostitution. The upsides are enormous. Nevada has enjoyed legalized brothels for decades, and it hasn’t hurt them any. Not when you consider that Las Vegas and Reno successfully bill themselves as “family vacation destinations.” And, frankly, Texas has more historical claim to being the prostitution capital of America than Nevada. He could sign the legislation in La Grange at the grand re-opening of the Chicken Ranch. Then his office could foot the bill to treat the winner of the annual Texas A&M/Texas football game to a visit afterwards, just like in the “good old days.” Increased convention bookings from out-of-state groups would be an added benefit.

Each working girl would be licensed, paying a registration fee, of course. Each house of ill repute would be a licensed, fee-paying contributor to our children’s education. At $ 300 a pop (er… so to speak) a 10 percent state surcharge would net a tidy profit at the end of the year, in addition to the afore-mentioned licensing fees. And the marketing slogans practically write themselves: Cathouses for Kids! or Brothels for Books! trip off the tongue. And I’m certain the entrepreneurial spirit and sense of civic responsibility would pay off in handsome ways. Instead of charging students fees to participate in extra-curricular activities, schools could line up sponsorships and fundraisers with area bordellos. Instead of World’s Finest Chocolate and boring magazine subscriptions, kids could now go door-to-door peddling “Boink a Babe for the Band” certificates. Booster clubs could raffle off $10,000 VIP season-passes instead of pickup trucks and Schlitterbahn tickets. Plus, it has the added bonus of being one source of funding that wouldn’t, ah, dry up.

I was also going to suggest that the revenues could be easily doubled by expanding the legislation to include the licensing of men to serve homosexual clientele, but then thought better of it. Promotion of gay prostitution, you know, just wouldn’t be moral.