Bitchy

From Amy:

Dear Abby,

My husband is not happy with my mood swings.

The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Sincerely, Bitchy in Wisconsin