Late-Night Jokes About Howard Dean

Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

"Howard Dean was endorsed by former Vice President Al Gore and now he is getting advice from Al Gore. And I'm thinking, who better to give advice than the guy who couldn't even get elected with the most votes?" —David Letterman

"Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean was all smiles, well smirks, after picking up the endorsement of former Vice President Al Gore at a rally in Harlem ... Gore went on to praise Dean for taking a tough anti-war stance before the invasion of Iraq and he praised Dean supporters in hopes that will ease his concerns over lack of foreign policy experience, and his lack of support among blacks and Latinos, and his hot temperament, and perceived arrogance, and policy flip-flops, and campaign glitches. Well, there's a lot going on here." —Jon Stewart

"General Wesley Clark commented on Gore endorsing Howard Dean. He said endorsements don't win elections. Hey, in this country, votes don't even win elections." —Jay Leno

"Presidential candidate Howard Dean is now being attacked for dodging the draft. I never knew this about the guy — but now I know this guy is presidential material." —David Letterman

"In a recent interview, Howard Dean admitted that he used to drink and smoke pot. So, now all he needs to put him over the top is a sex scandal." —David Letterman

"In his new book, 'Winning Back America,' Dean talks about his wealthy prep school and how he used to get drunk. Let me get this straight — he had rich parents, drank a lot, went to prep school and avoided Vietnam. He's the alternative to George Bush? I think he is George Bush." —Jay Leno

"Howard Dean is a politician, a medical doctor and a Democrat. So he has three reasons to tell women to take off their clothes now." —Jay Leno

"It was reported today that former Governor Howard Dean raised $14 million dollars in campaign funds mostly over the Internet. Of course, Dean's success could be contributed to his Web site: www.wetboobies." —Conan O'Brien