More Late Night Humor From Daniel Kurtzman

"President Bush also signed a law this week that would allow the timber industry to cut down excess trees. If you're in the timber industry, excess trees are the ones that haven't been cut down yet." —Jay Leno

"President Bush said this week he wants to send men to the moon and then he was told we already did that back in 1969 and he said 'I was drinking then I don't remember the '60s." —Jay Leno

"In Washington, President Bush has signed a bill to invest $3.7 billion into nanotechnology. This is the science of building electronic circuits from single atoms and single molecules. Bush said he did it to help small businesses." —Jay Leno

"Saudi Arabia is going to hold back on the money they pledged to Iraq for rebuilding. Apparently Iraq is too dangerous for their terrorists to go to now." —Jay Leno

"On Thanksgiving Day President Bush shocked 600 troops stationed in Iraq when he showed up to have dinner with them. At first they were so stunned they didn't believe it was the president, but then he went ahead and mispronounced some words and they went 'Oh my God, it's him!'" —Jay Leno

"Gotta give the White House credit on this one. My colleagues and I are incredibly impressed by how well we were misled, and this was for a good cause. Just imagine if they were doing something they were ashamed of. We'd never find out. This just proves that we journalists shouldn't even try, which we don't." —Daily Show "White House correspondent" Stephen Colbert, on Bush's surprise Thanksgiving trip to Baghdad

"The trip, which took place while the president's family was gathered in Crawford, Texas, was the result of six weeks of meticulous planning. National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice explained the reason for the intense secrecy [clip of Rice saying Iraq that it was a dangerous place]. Dangerous? You should see Thanksgiving in Crawford, texas. You got Jeb Bush grabbing Percodan out of his daughter's mouth, there's the other brother Neil who is getting a divorce. Who knows what he picked up from the whores in Hong Kong? And you got Jenna into the cooking sherry. You know grandma is like 'Would you all shut the f--- up, I'm trying to have a nice Thanksgiving.'" —Jon Stewart

"Today President Bush pardoned the White House turkey. Of course the turkey had to donate $100,000 to his reelection campaign first." —David Letterman

And many more on About Political Humor from Danial Kurtzman.