Anti-Gay Marriage Drama Queens

Dispatches from the Culture Wars takes on the Christian Family Coalition fundraising letter on gay marriage.

1. Homosexual adoption will be instantly legalized and generations of children will be raised in unnatural environments - deprived of a mother and a father.

(Yes, entire generations of children! Because gay marriage is so incredibly powerful that once it is legalized, the 95% of the population that isn't gay will suddenly become gay and leave their husbands and wives and families to start "families" with other formerly-straight but suddenly-gay people. Why, even those Christian families that have formed this coalition will turn into "gay families", such is the overwhelming lure of being gay that is being restrained only by the lack of gay marriage at the moment)

The Christian Family Coalition, has fought and WON against the RADICAL HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA, whether it's special rights or homosexual indoctrination
of kindergarten children!

(no, really, we'll stop them. We've done it before. I mean, despite the fact that our winning percentage against gay rights is slightly lower than Wile E. Coyote's success rate against the Road Runner and gays are gaining more and more legal recognition for their rights every day, we're really very good at stopping them. We have mastered the use of the two most powerful weapons in this battle - random capitalization and "scare quotes".)