Thursday, July 20, 2006

Adopt 400,000 Frozen Embryos

Help out your Prez.

Take two, or even a dozen, they're small. In fact, adopt them all. The dot in this i is the size of a frozen embryo - isn't it cute. Ahhh. Won't they be cutems all snuggled up together in your freezer?

Just keep them in the freezer until needed. Get an old ice cream carton for them. Now, don't get the cartons confused. For God's sake! don't accidentally spill them on the ice cream. That would be bad. You'd start thinking how that would taste. Stop, stop, stop, you are not, not, a baby eating monster - even frozen babies on delicious ice cream. Only the President can eat a baby, and then only if he thinks it necessary to stop terrorists.

It is sad that the adopted kids and parents Bush was photo-oping with killed 5 embryos for every child you saw. The protocols demand numerous embryos per attempt to get one possible live and kicking or flipping one. I hope they blurred that when you were watching. It would have been so much more moral for Bush to have his picture taking with some pretty, pretty pre-zygotes.

Maybe he did, look for some dots in those pictures. I think he did. I see dots. I see lots of dots. Of course, he would have had to keep them away from Cheney who'd definitely eat them. Stay away you frozen baby eater! Bad Cheney. Only if God tells the president will he let you eat those babies.

Let's get back to you and your 400,000 darlings. Keep them safe and think about how you can personally give them to good homes. All those properly married, good Judeo-Christian, non-homosexual, young waiting vaginas. Think about all those vaginas while packing them away. Once you have all those embryos all packed in the carton or a number of little bitty cartons in the freezer I'll tell you how to get ready for the next GOP campaign.

You want to know now?

OK. Don't tell anyone - this is for 2008.

Storing sperm for the GOP. Yes, the every sperm is sacred campaign. We must help all of your sperm, or your eggs for you housewives out there, be ready to be children.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Get those containers ready. We gotta put those boys on ice. This is only the beginning. In 2012 they'll all get the right to vote on their own little cold computerized voting machines...

400,000 is the number of frozen embryos in fertility clinics in this country right now. The total size of all the embryos by my calculations is about six cubic inches.

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