Saturday, December 28, 2002

The Onion | Land Mine Seizes Power In Angola

The war-torn West African nation of Angola, for decades wracked by violent power struggles among rival factions, was cast into further political turmoil Monday when a 40-pound anti-personnel land mine seized power and declared itself president for life.

"Today represents the dawn of a glorious new era for our nation," said the landmine, which rose to power with the backing of Angola's estimated 40 million subterranean explosive devices. "For too many years, we have been ignored by Angola's leaders, denied representation despite the fact that we outnumber the humans by a margin of four to one."

"This land mine will open doors for other large but politically underrepresented African-Angolan groups, such as rocket-propelled grenade launchers and AK-47 assault rifles," Yale University African Studies professor Ralph Langwell said.

Hmmm, is the Onion channeling the future?

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